Embracing Wholeness while honoring Destruction

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This post is inspired by an article I read a week or so ago. It’s written from the perspective that men can embody Shiva and woman Kali without as much crossover or wholeness:

Lots of Warrior Goddess sisters are reclaiming their Kali energy, and it’s a very strong, intimidating energy. Many people when they have gotten to know me, easily see that side of me.

Let me be clear. That’s not the only part of me. I am a multifaceted human being, and to peg me in that category without seeing the wholeness of who I am doesn’t do me justice. We do this all the time to people where we refuse to see the wholeness and beauty of a person, and just mark it off as, “Oh that’s just them”. The time of that is over, and it’s time we saw and embraced each other for the wholeness of a human being instead of just putting people in a box like that’s all they are.

The (horrifically simplified) myth of Kali is about how she raged and went on a killing spree. The other God/desses tried to beg her to stop, but that made her rage grow. When they rose against her to try and stop her, her anger grew even more then that. It wasn’t until Shiva laid down in front of her with compassion that she let it all out in a productive way and stood on top of him, calm and peaceful. This union represents many things, and is an expression of life itself.

Kali is not just a destroyer Goddess. She’s this wildness – a fierce, protective energy that rises in all of us. Human kind has fallen out of right relationship with the true meaning of chaos, and a majority only know the overwhelming self induced chaos that we create ourselves. That’s not Kali. And just as with Kali, she is not a destruction Goddess 100% of the time, but that’s what people peg her as. They choose not to know the chaos of being the eye of the storm, or the ecstatic dance of a thunderbolt. Or the fierce love a Mother has for their child.

Just as the myths are stories for our psyches, they offer many different translations and I choose not to argue. My interpretation of the most famous of Kali myths? There’s this wildness that we have caged or not let out, and it’s getting angrier the more that it’s caged. When we finally find it within ourselves, it can be explosive and extremely dangerous/toxic. But the response of either falling at its knees and begging for mercy, or fighting against it will only anger it more. WE were the ones that caged this powerful part of ourselves, and it takes that fierce compassion of surrender in order to allow that transformation through love. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s the only way to break that particular cycle and satiate that pure, volcanic energy. Be in the uncomfortable and surrender to it. Don’t try to control it.

So do me a favor. Next time you look at another human, don’t label them and put them in a box. Just like I have many faces, the divine and how they show up for us take on many faces. It’s this balance of Kali and Shiva within ourselves that helps humanity out of this rut we’re currently breaking free from. Chaos is needed in this dire time of change, and we can’t do it by begging it to stop or fighting against it. It takes understanding, compassion, and that fierce, tender heart that this energy is protecting. If we run away from it, it’s still going to happen and you’re just turning a blind eye to it.

What does this look like practically? If you tell me I’m wrong and come at me with aggression, I’ll advocate for myself and hold space while you yell at me. Because I know it’s not me you’re *really* mad at. If you grovel at my feet and beg for the chaos in your life to stop, I’ll help you find the wilderness in your heart and teach you to surrender to it. It’s a long road ahead, but it doesn’t mean that we tear eachother down in the process. It’s about coming together and supporting each other in times of need. We NEED to see each other in our wholeness, and not just for one of the gifts we bring into this world. We need you. All of you.

From my fierce, wild heart to yours.

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