I wish to share a private moment with you. Sit down with me as you read and join me up here as I share this moment overlooking the Nations Capital.
I currently live in Alexandria, and for most of my friends across the states and around the world, I live close enough to DC to say that I live in DC. I’m writing this tonight while sitting on a bench, on top of a bridge that goes across the Potomac river. I’m looking directly at the big penis of America (the Washington monument) and am considering the big internal process I just went through.
I came up here with doubts, fears and insecurities. I can hold myself together pretty well. But while I was up here, I decided to give humble offerings to each of the 4 directions (if you’re feeling lost, this is a perfect way to find yourself again and be your own compass). I don’t have much to give, but I caught myself saying, “I am enough” as I found items on my walk that were pretty and reminded me of the directions. I have to admit, I fell apart and cried up here on a bridge over the Potomac. Good thing I don’t wear makeup, because it was an ugly cry. I fell into my practice and I asked for help from the universe after I gave my offerings.
Right as I recovered from letting go and surrendering, I faced towards DC and noticed a plane was taking off from Reagan airport. It felt like the universe heard my plea for help, and I felt connected to the plane. I felt I was that plane. Full of vision and at the beginning of a long flight. I asked if this sign was for me, and right at that moment a ship came from the opposite direction, directly under me and heading straight for DC. For a brief moment I was simultaneously under an airplane and also over a water taxi at the same time. It felt right.
The only way to grow stronger in your faith is to break it. It is the process of losing it, and then finding it again. I came up here with all my fears, doubts, insecurities, and worries that I was failing. I spoke them out loud and I let myself go. I opened up to the bigger energies out there and got an almost immediate answer. It’s taken me years to build my own vocabulary with Spirit. To be able to see what these messages mean to me instead of looking outside of myself for the answer. Tonight I broke and I was held by the Universe in a safe context. Because I had my practice to fall back on. I did the crucial thing and instead gave time for Spirit to answer me back. I listened. It’s a conversation, not a one way street where you keep asking for stuff. I gave and spoke from my heart. And am walking away with a deeper sense of connection.
I couldn’t begin to find a way to thank Mary Tyrtle Rooker and Christina Lee Pratt enough. For giving me the foundation to really break down in a good way and build myself back up with the context of my true soul self and my authenticity.
So thank you for reading this, and thank you for joining me momentarily on this bridge over the Potomac while having this grand view of DC. Blessings for you to find the courage to break down and get back up again with a stronger sense of self.
Disclaimer: this whole post was written while sitting on the bridge with the view. So you technically did join me on the bridge.